Match Summary
The Twenty Minuters gathered somewhere in Peckham in hot, humid weather for a new fixture, known only by some rather intimidating nets bowling at a shared session some months earlier. A newly-laid deck featured plenty of sand, stud-marks and a rocky outfield. Other amenities were equally impressive, with shrubs for a toilet, a pavilion notable by its absence, and an itinerant family's rabid muts ruining the atmos at the Twenty Minuters' own improvised campsite. This threatened to be no-frills cricket, a form of the game at which the Twenty Minuters were admittedly untested, but unlikely to be suited. The toss was won, and with the war council concluding we might as well be playing on a Bosnian emergency airstrip circa 1993, Skip inserted the opposition to see what they could make of it.
The innings was dominated by one solid performance at the top of the order by the Burgess Park glovesman, and by that old friend, the sundries column. Conditions were tricky for bowlers and 'keepers alike. Unpredictable bounce, poor run-ups, poor mobility in the outfield, unhelpful umpiring and not a little natural talent eased the tally of wides past the half-ton, top-scoring for the innings. But some proper cricket did spasmodically intrude on proceedings, notably a snaffled low chance at slip by C Stevens, and a brilliant run out by Elwes, throwing down the stumps at the non-striker's end from leg slip (where he'd earlier been pitching most of his deliveries). MacLean on debut chipped in with two wickets in a promising if erratic spell, as did Cochrane, also on debut, with the help of some sharp glovework by Yorkee.
The absence of tea was something of a blow to a team that had had been obliged, by its waywardness, to bowl nearly ten extra overs. As the Twenty Minuters fought over fragments of crisps and R Scott's discarded crusts, P Cannon decided to relax the fraught atmosphere in the only way he knows how. A new heightened sense of indolence and abstraction had permeated the ranks by the time Greayer and Lloyd-Baker set off to begin the reply. 4 for 5 is a staggeringly bad opening even by our own humble standards. Lloyd-Baker felt himself to have been the victim of a third fallacious LBW decision in as many innings, leading to a very public feud with Skip (standing in as umpire). P Cannon was promoted up the order as a pinch-hitter by public acclaim. Skip thought this unwise, demanding that his opposition be entered into the record, and had barely finished the sentence before Cannon was back in the hutch. Of course it took a Yorkshireman to provide the gritty innings that made some sort of score possible. The mix of pace and spin, which spat dust and dirt into the eyes with every delivery, required careful navigation. But Clark was equal to the task, even biffing a maximum over the cover boundary. Not even the endless appeals and constant wittering of the close fielders, one of whose speciality was singing Aqua tunes from cover point, could persuade Yorkee to relinquish his wicket, for a full 41 deliveries. Skip then followed his example, dropping anchor with the sort of stolid knock that has led to misguided calls for him to open the batting. But despite Burgess Park's extras column weighing in with a valuable half-ton (and so top-scoring in both innings - not a game for the neutral), the lack of partnerships and scoring strokes led to another failed run-chase for the Twenty Minuters.
